I Hate These Guys!

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dejesus1 I Hate These Guys!

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So, I’m sitting here at Comerica Park as the Tigers and Royals play and something just happened, that always happens… David DeJesus gets a double to drive in a run!  DeJesus is one of those guys that is part of a group of players that I despise called “Tiger Killers”.  To be a part of this awful, frustrating, miserable group all you have to do is kill the Tigers with your bat or arm, it’s that easy.  DeJesus along with his boys always hit against Detroit, no matter if a game is out of hand or close, these “Tiger Killers” always come through to ruin your day.  So I thought it would be a good idea as all these names race through my head to put them down in a blog just to make the general public aware of who these players are, and what they will do to Detroit.  Hell, if I were you, I would take this list and make money off it.  How you ask?  It’s easy, just bet some poor unsuspecting sap that one of these “Tiger Killers” will get a meaningful hit against Detroit during the course of the game.  Trust me, you will WIN!!! 

The List…I included one guy for each position.

Jim Thome (DH)- I think ths guy could be the president of the “Tiger Killer” club.  Thome has 565 lifetime home runs, 60 of them have come against Detroit.  In 625 at bats, he has 182 hits and 134 rbi.  He hits .291 against Detroit.  This guy has ruined a lot of Tiger games for me, I remember one time I was in Cleveland when the Indians were good and it was Thome that sent me home crying.  The Tigers were on the verge of sweeping the Tribe and I was in rare form talking smack to all the Indian fans at the park.  Of course it was Thome and the Tribe fans that got the last laugh as he hit a walk off Grand Slam to win the game.  That loss sent Detroit into a tailspin as they quickly fell to the bottom of the Central division.

Kevin Youkilis (1B)- I think we were all happy when Rick Porcello decided to show Youk how a rookie can handle a vet, however it is Kevin that gets the last bragging rights.  Youkilis has killed the Tigers over the years.  In just 102 at bats he has hit 10 homer, 31 r.b.i. and a .430 on base percentage.  Youk also hits .343 against Detroit. 

Mark Grudzielanek (2B)- It’s not easy thinking of a 2nd baseman that kills the Tigers on as a regular basis as some of these other guys but when you think about “the great Grudzielanek” you see quickly that he is a no-brainer for the list.  Not only does he have an impossible last name to spell (which is rare enough because it includes a Z in it) but he has a .371 batting average against Detroit.  Along with the average, in 124 at bats, Mark has 46 hits, 13 r.b.i. and 3 long balls.  Gets your blood boiling just thinking about this gnat, doesn’t it?

Derek Jeter (SS)-  This guy kills every team in the game including the Tigers.  Jeter hits.348 against Detroit in 469 at bats.  He has 67 r.b.i. along with 11 homers.  Of course no matter what he does on the field nothing can compare what he does off the field…  Jessica, Jessica, Jessica, Minka, Miss Universe, Mariah, Scarlett, I can keep going on but all it’s going to do is depress you!  Ohh by the way, Jeter also has 8 triples against the Tigers!

Joe Crede (3B)- There could be other 3rd baseman that kill the Tigers more than Crede but I can’t think of one.  Bottom line, in any situation I would put this guy on 1st rather than give him anything to hit.  I figure it’s always better giving up the bag then a homer which Crede seems to do a lot of against the Tigers.  Joe has 140 long balls in his career, 25 of which have come against the Tigers.  He also has 71 r.b.i. against the team that plays in Downtown Detroit.  It was great news when he was no longer a White Sox however the bad news is he went to the Twins where he can continue to hit long ball after long ball against Detroit. 

David DeJesus(outfield) – I started the blog with this guy and guess what?…he just got another hit and a walk.  He has a .304 average against the Tigers and in his 329 at bats, he has over 100 hits.  I would walk this guy at any crucial time in the game rather than pitch to him and let him beat you….again!!!

Raul Ibanez (outfield)- Year after year after year I hope the Tiger sign Ibanez in free agency for a couple of reasons.  The first is he hits from the left side of the plate and is a career .284 hitter.  Of course the second reason is obvious…he could not kill the Tigers anymore if he is a Tiger.  Currently Ibanez is in Philly which I guess is just as good, but Raul hits .306 against Detroit with 70 r.b.i. and 11 homers.  To tell you how afraid I am of this guy…Ibanez is soon to be 38 years old and I would still give him a contract for over market value rather than an AL team getting him for a discount

Aaron Rowand (outfield)- I know Rowand has not played in the AL since 2005 but when he was with Chicago he ate Tiger for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Rowand hits .302 against Detroit with 8 homers and 34 r.b.i.  These numbers represent only 5 years playing against Detroit, can you imagine how horrifying they would be if he never went to the NL?

Joe Mauer (catcher)- This should come to no surprise to anyone, we have seen Mauer tear up Detroit ever since getting into the league.  Mauer hits .346 against the Tigers with 107 hits, 54 r.b.i. and 10 homers in 373 at bats.  Add the likes of Justin Morneau hitting behind him and not only do these guys register as red blooded Tiger killers but possibly the most dangerous 1-2 punch of killers that Detroit faces in a given season.

As for the pitchers…..  Roger Clemons, Carl Pavano, Brad Radke, Joe Nathan, Bobby Jenks and anybody making their Major league debut have always killed Detroit.

 So who did I miss?

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