The Grand Flaw

429ovechkin The Grand Flaw

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As I am reading comments on my Facebook regarding the Caps early exit from the playoffs I cannot help but laugh at the collective ignorance of the average hockey fan. It’s either ignorance or pure stupidity, you be the judge.

These fools, and yes they are fools, giggle with glee while they proclaim that upsets  like the Canadians beating the Caps as “What’s great about the game”


In reality it is everything wrong with “your” completely flawed product known as NHL 2010. A sport where inferior teams can completely change the way the game is played, muck it up, get outshot by gaudy figures, and still win a series.

“That’s old-time hockey Mike!”

Just shut up, now, please for the sake of all of us. Can you imagine a baseball team getting out hit by a 4-1 ratio and winning a series? How about an NBA team getting out rebounded by the same margin? NFL…don’t bother fathoming it. No, only in this dumpster fire of a postseason sport could it be. Oh the joy.

So let me see if I can explain to these basement dwelling creatures known as “Real Hockey Fans” exactly why tonight is so bad for “their” game.

1. Ovechkin gone, ZERO reason for any average sports fan to tune into a game. Less than zero in fact. Crosby is not a flashy player and no other team in the vomit fest known as the Eastern conference playoffs is worth watching with one eye much less two.Do any of you realize he is THE most known player in the game. THE most entertaining player in the game. And THE only reason many would even watch? It’s like if Kobe, Wade, Nash, Williams, and Howard all died and Lebron was the lone soldier for the league…and he was dumped in the first round by the Bulls. Super.

2. Ovechkin gone =’s no opposition to Crosby from a third straight final. Yawn…unless your name is Jordan,Gretzky Bryant, Manning etc. it’s NEVER good for the same guy to get there three straight years.

3. Both the No. 7 and No. 8 seeds have advanced making the eastern conference a collection of drab, dull and above all mediocre teams fighting for the chance to embarrass themselves and their sport in the Cup finals…all while killing what minuscule TV number the league might hope to attain. Sweet.

Best part of all of this is these elitist dopes and their canned response…”Screw fringe hockey fans, it’s our game. Don’t watch then!”

Yes, brilliant in both it’s comedy and ignorance. This is a business you dopes. That’s why every other sport worth a damn is on ESPN or some semblance of a network while you and “your” game is on Versus. what was that? Versus? Oh yes, that network somewhere in the 600’s on my dish with a mediocre broadcast crew and HD like it was shot through my dogs under bite. Perfect.

Also factor in that your game and brilliant business model has them LAST on Sportscenter highlight rotation. LAST on newspapers minds in any city not named Detroit, Toronto, Montreal, Vancouver, Edmonton, Ottawa and maybe Medicine Hat. How about ZERO apparel sales in any store in the lower 48-states not named NHL Store…if you can find one? Wanna keep going?

The whole point is the more you placate to this style of crap, and that is what this product has become on most nights…crap, the worse it gets. Teams like Montreal and Philly have no business winning series, yet they do. Why? Because the game is nothing like it;s regular season counterpart…NOTHING. Sure we see orgasmic capsules of what real hockey looks like but it;s followed by 30 minutes of “old-time hockey” or whatever tired cliché these net heads can muster up with seven “blues” in them. No other sport allows it. None. Why? Because it’s bad business. Can you imagine a full decade of Knicks vs. Heat circa 1993? I’d eat a bullet after poisoning myself for good measure. How about a sweet NFL playoff game where one team decided to “slow it down” and burn the playclock down to one from 1st quarter on? Yeah Goodell would adore that.

So savor tonight my myopic, not so bright, and hilariously sensitive hockey head. It;s the very reason your game is dead in the minds of humanity.

God let the Wings make it, might be the only salvation for people like myself who like entertainment as well as results.


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