Mike Valenti: Rivalry Chatter
When I was initially approached by our webmaster Evan Jankens to write a blog (or 12) on this site, my answer was quite simply "no."
I told Jankens I had nothing to say on "The Rivalry," and that breaking down the game in thousands of words wouldn't draw any readers. I also told him that frankly, I'm over it.
Oh, I know what you're saying.
"Man, screw you Valenti" or "LIES, ALL LIES, YOU LOVE THIS!!!!!!"
The simple answer is, I used to love it. I used to live and die by it. In many ways this rivalry ran my sporting life. That also was when I was young and immature. As I've hit 30-years old and soon to be 31…I've changed, this rivalry has changed.
Now? I'm done. Don't get it twisted, I dislike Michigan and always want to win. It's simply the stress surrounding the game, the fans, and people in general that have soured me on the entire process. There really isn't much joy. You win and there are a myriad of excuses or rationalizations as to why. You lose? Forget it. Shut the program down and you are the worst school on earth. This bipolar nature of fandom that surrounds almost all rivalries is something I cannot identify with. It's at the core of my disdain.
Many will counter that it's just "fans being fans" and I should "learn to embrace it" but that is just pure rubbish.
People use a rivalry as means to justify belligerent, obnoxious and sometimes vile behavior. They shield their own shortcomings as adults, and booze-fueled rage fiestas, with "The Rivalry" as if that absolves them of responsibility or shame. Everything is supposed to be fair game because of "The Rivalry" and anyone who opposes simply isn't a "real fan" or whatever other nonsense third grade cliché phrase these dopes create.
My rivalry has evolved. What used to be 19-years old and an all-night Natty Ice floating river, has turned into time with friends and family I don't get to see nearly as much as I wished. No longer do I enter the game drunk or scream at every turn. I don't so much as glance at people in Michigan attire, let alone give them the finger, circa 2000. Pretty much, if I'm left alone, I leave all others alone. I don't care about your fan resume or why you care. It doesn't bother me that you have a lovely shade of maize on. That is of course, if you don't decide to come at me with your nonsense…which you inevitably do.
I'm sorry if that bothers you. I apologize if that turns you off and you no longer can listen to our program. I'm just giving you what my reality is. I'm pretty certain that 13 years of being in this war has simply worn me out. The tens of thousands of emails, texts, calls and callers…too many to offer a rough guess, has simply burned me out and jaded me. I spend more time justifying my team, my degree, my school and all of that, than actually enjoying whatever it is I was supposed to value in the first place.
On air it has become sheer spite more than anything else. Our show falls into drivel the week of and week after this game. There is no compromise. There is no discussion. Two sides, two views, no middle ground. No point to any of it. What used to be humorous has turned maddening. All the years MSU would fall short and I'd come on and simply tolerate the loss. Not make excuses. Not rationalize any of it. All of that? For what? The tables turned, MSU became the better team. MSU began to win the battle. And what came of it? Belligerent fans blinded by some cult loyalty to "their program" even though they likely have no true connection, spouting off nonsense. The wars on academics by people without a degree. Excuses galore. Nothing matters. History is all they reference. It's a tired cha-cha line of wasted breath. A pathetic exercise in "spin" and master classes in rationalizing defeat.
A win? Hate mail, excuses, straw man arguments, baiting, etc.
A loss? Hate mail, troll calls, Twitter implosion, radio show wrecked, etc.
There is no real winner for me anymore. It used to be some sort of battle for respect or pride or whatever it was I had convinced myself of, but now it's simply a study in human behavior, and just how bad society has become. How much difference between the "average fan" and I there truly is. How the priorities just aren't the same.
I'm sure somewhere far away people on both sides sit in their respective man caves and truly enjoy the game. They wear their colors and are left alone. The day isn't completely dominated by this never ending battle for something I cannot even comprehend any longer. But here? In the belly of the beast known as Southeast Michigan? Forget it. The only peace and quiet you'll find is alone or with close friends…at home….TV and all computers off. Maybe packing up tailgate on an eerily still parking lot hours after the battle. Or maybe a short call with your father to discuss the day. Those few quiet moments are where you truly get a glimpse back into what this thing was meant to be about.
In a flash…
"Let's go to Bob in Wyandotte"
Right back to it.
