With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here’s our homegrown list of ways to determine if you’re too old to trick or treat.
– Christy Strawser
6. If you groom your moustache before heading out, you may be too old.
5. If you pick up your friends in the 2002 Mercury Sable you bought new, you may be too old.
4. If you’re wearing an argyle sweater vest under your costume, you may be too old.
3. If you’re wearing legwarmers, not because it fits your retro Flashdance costume, but because it covers varicose veins, you’re too old.
2. If you can’t wear Harry Potter’s glasses because they’re not strong enough, you’re too old.
1. If you’re secretly hoping someone is passing out condoms instead of candy, you’re definitely too old.
Help us out and finish this sentence: If you … You may be too old.