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Tigers

The Red Sox Are The Worst

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BOSTON, MA - JULY 30:  Jarrod Saltalamacchia #39 of the Boston Red Sox is tagged out at second base on an attempted steal by Jhonny Peralta #27 of the Detroit Tigers during the game on July 30, 2012 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts.  (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)

BOSTON, MA – JULY 30: Jarrod Saltalamacchia #39 of the Boston Red Sox is tagged out at second base on an attempted steal by Jhonny Peralta #27 of the Detroit Tigers during the game on July 30, 2012 at Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jared Wickerham/Getty Images)

riger Jeff Riger
Jeff Riger, has often been asked, "Why are you like this?" Simply ...
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By: Jeff Riger

Every fan has a team they despise the most, and mine is the Red Sox.  I hate their ballpark, payroll, stadium, logo, attitude and most of all their fans.

I think that covers it.  I’m not even sure when these feelings started, but they have and now I couldn’t shake them if I tried.  So as the Tigers continue a three-game set with the Sawx this evening at Fenway, I thought this would be a perfect time to share my intense displeasure with Boston.

Below I have listed the top 5 reasons why every Detroiter should hate the Red Sox as much as I do.

5. Tigers can’t beat em’

The Tigers are 955-1022 against the Red Sox, all time, with most of those Detroit wins coming at Tiger Stadium of course.  The all-time numbers at Fenway are flat out horrifying as the Tigers sport a 430-559 resume in Boston.  One of the main reasons I despise the Red Sox as much as I do is because throughout the course of my baseball-watching life, Boston has dominated Detroit.  Since, let’s say 1985 the Tigers are 125-161 against the Red Sox while winning just 52 of 137 games at Fenway.

I told you the numbers were hard to take in.

After years and years of awful baseball the Tigers became a respectable team in 2006 but their numbers against the Red Sox were the furthest thing from good.  Since Jim Leyland has taken over as manager, Detroit is just 15 and 26 against Boston and a dismal 5 and 16 in front of the Green Monster.

They just can’t beat them!

4. Sweet Caroline Has Turned Stale and Sour

Sox fans love to yell Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” before the bottom of the 8th inning gets going at Fenway.  It’s hard to imagine that at one point; earlier in my life I actually enjoyed that song.  Before I rip on the tradition, I should probably include the information on how it all started…

Click HERE to find out why they do it if you are interested.

“Sweet Caroline” became a sue do good luck charm for the Red Sox and I dislike good luck charms.  OK, maybe I only dislike good luck charms that might enable Boston to win, but you get my drift.  I don’t have an explanation other than just like any other Red Sox happenings, the fans and the team try to sell it as the greatest baseball tradition ever, even though it has only been around officially since 2004.  I will take the Rally Monkey any day over that now dreaded Diamond song.  Even when I’ve been drinking I refuse to enjoy the catchy tune.

I admit that I’m being childish here, but I’m sure you act the same way towards teams you despise.

3. Fenway Park

Tear the place down already!

Fenway is 100 years old and I’m sick of hearing about it.  Fenway is the greatest, most amazing, religious, utterly fantastic place in the universe!  What you didn’t know?  Just ask any Red Sox fan, Massachusetts resident or ESPN and they will be happy to tell you.

I’m sure the place is nice but I get really annoyed hearing the detailed descriptions of the ballpark every time somebody opens their mouth about Fenway.  People take it upon themselves to spread the word about the brilliance of Fenway Park, when it’s just another place to play baseball.  Now don’t get me wrong, I did the same for Tiger stadium as I miss the place dearly but Fenway is at a different level.  The game seems to always come second when that place is involved.  From the Monster to a right field foul post that sits a whopping 303 feet away from home plate, it all just bores me these days.  I admit that I used to have aspirations to visit the old park, but as my hatred grows for the team I just assume now skip it!

Nothing like a mammoth shot off the monster that yields a base hit or a check swing that sends a ball gone for a homer in right…

People say that is the beauty of Fenway.  I say it’s just another advantage for a team I can’t stand!

2. The Curse

I have a question: Who didn’t know that the Red Sox failed to win a World Series from 1918 to 2004?  The answer is NOBODY!!!

The thing that bothered me the most about “The Curse of the Bambino” was that Red Sox fans acted like they were the only fan base to ever suffered losing.  And the national media gladly went along with it.  Think about how many franchises have failed to win a title, including here in Detroit with the Lions.  Those teams don’t matter!  Nope!  It was all about the Red Sox and how they could not win a title year after year.  So what?  A ball went through Bill Bucker’s legs.  Let’s go nuts about it!  How many other disastrous plays get swept under the rug from other teams only to display Bucker year after year after year?  And, the classy fans that gave the guy death threats!  Yeah, those seem like quality people.

I’m convinced that Red Sox fans never really even wanted to win a title.  They just loved playing the victim season after the season.  It gave them an endless license to whine, moan and feel sorry for themselves.  And everybody bought in.

What kind of message does that send?

If you keep losing just pout until it consumes you as a fan base.  That’s the lesson that so many parents passed on to their children.

OK maybe I’m going way overboard here, but I can’t seem to stop.

Now that the curse is over I’m convinced that Boston fans miss it.  They will never admit to it but I’m assuming that is the case.  Also, all the other losing fan bases that never were focused on while the curse was going on still get no publicity.  The media, even after two titles just continues to concentrate on the Red Sox and nobody else.

1. Red Sox Nation

They believe they are better fans then you!  What else needs to be said?

Oh, one more thing…

Stephen King, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Jenifer Gardner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon, Rene Russo, Dennis Leary, Kenny Chesney, Stephen Tyler, Dane Cook, the Drop Kick Murphys, Seth Myers, Conan O’ Brian and Mark Wahlberg…

We get it!  You like the Red Sox.

Man, I hope Verlander gets a no-hitter against them tonight.

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