Confessions Of A Detroit Caffeine Addict, Coffee Gifts

As a student of pop culture, I've come to learn about addiction mostly from watching 28 Days, staring Sandra Bullock, productions of David Simon Screenplays like "The Corner," "The Wire" and of course, from listening to Dr. Drew, help callers on "Loveline" in the nineties. So from what I have gathered it appears that the first step of recovery in AA is to admit that "I am powerless over my addiction and that my life has become unmanageable." Luckily for me, my life has not become unmanageable. This is the denial, and further verifies that I am 100% a coffee addict. I am powerless over my addiction. Powerless because I am totally, undeniably and passionately in love with coffee.

I bring this up because I am in no way trying to present myself as a coffee aficionado or a connoisseur of the stuff. For example, I would not be above mainlining espresso in the event that I could not find a cup. I wonder if that is illegal.

I am just an average girl who wakes up every day and tells herself the lie, that I'll have just one latte in the morning, and maybe one more frappe in the late morning, but for sure I am going to stop all coffee by noon. And then at about 2 p.m., the "drug-seeking behavior" begins (thanks for the appropriate terminology, Dr. Drew). My downward spiral of the afternoon usually goes like this:

I'll have just one cup. I mean it was just made. It's just sitting in the pot. It shouldn't go to waste. I usually repeat this scenario a minimum of three times between 1 and 4 p.m. When I get home in the evening either my mother or my cousin or my aunt comes by. This is typical for Greeks. Together we decide we should have one, small, cup of Turkish coffee just so we have the energy to cook. Ok, you get it. I am a huge liar when it comes to coffee, BUT there are others who are way worse than I am.

For example, I work with guy who thinks I am crazy because I try to cut back or control my intake of caffeine. "Why would you want to do that?" he asks. "You'll get a headache," he adds.

Good point.

The best way to be ok with your coffee addiction is to find someone out there that is way worse than you. As long you are not as bad as that guy, you have not hit bottom. Thank you Sandra Bullock movie. My rock-bottom poster child is one of my co-workers, we'll call him John to protect the innocent. Thank you David Simon for this tactic. John drinks a pot of coffee during his one hour and 20 minute commute on the way to work. Then he keeps a steady flow going into his system from 9 to 5, and drinks another pot on the way home. On the weekend he hunts, so he drinks a pot to go up north, sits and stalks his prey with a steady flow to keep him warm, and has another piping hot pot stashed in his truck for the ride back down the mitten (that's a Michigan reference for you out-of-staters). In the summer, he goes fishing. You get it. Basically, the only time he isn't drinking coffee is when he is sleeping -- which is not very much for obvious reasons. Compared to that guy -- who has a problem? Really?

Okay, you get it. I'm an addict. But, for the sake of poetry, let's say I am a coffee lover. Therefore, I present to you the top five things all coffee addicts need. All of these things will identify you to others as co-addicts who have no interest in ever stopping, because, coffee is ... well ... etraordinary perfection. It's love in a cup. It's your friend. It's your ally. It's the one that understands you and never lets you down. And even if it does -- you can just drink some more.

(credit: capitolcups.com

Best Coffee Accessory

*THE* Cup by Capitol Cups. Aside from being awesome because it seals perfectly to shake a frappe (the Greeks in the audience know what I'M talking about), it keeps the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold. I buy them as gifts and everyone tells me the same thing- it is the best coffee cup ever.

Best Fast Coffee Places

It's a tie for the places to get a latte, cappacino, espresso, etc., on the go.

Biggby's and Nordstrom's - I know, who knew? They are all nice. Kudos to their HR process of both corporations. The coffee tastes good, but is still "hard" without tasting burnt a' la Seattle. Of course, in a jam, I'll drink the burnt stuff. Coffee is like sex and pizza. Even when it's bad -- it's still good.

Best Places For International Ambiance

Pistachio's (west side)

5741 West Maple Rd.
West Bloomfield Township, Mich.
(248) 865-8870
pistachiounlimited.com

Caffe Far Bella (east side)

23233 9 Mack Drive
St. Clair Shores, MI
(586) 773-2233

Best Gifts For A Coffee Addict

• Travel suitcase of coffee
• The 12 days of coffee - Make it yourself. It should be self-explanitory, but if you don't get it, drink some coffee. It'll wake you up a little.
• Pictures of coffee framed if you really want to butter us up.

Find any credible study from any accredited university that suggests that drinking a lot of coffee is good for you. We love that.