The NFL Fooled Us Again; Free Agency Was A BORE
By: Eric Thomas
Feet up, TV on, face deep in a Baconator. Networks set aside a spot for the live programming, we showed up, ready for magic time. As the minutes counted down, we waited for word. Rumors swirled without confirmation; Reggie Bush to the Lions, DeAngelo Hall to the Lions, Deshon Goldson to the Lions. 4PM came and went. What was the outcome? Nothing.
We never learn. How many times have we been sucked into the NFL off-season hype only to be stood up, with a table full of snack food and fingers hovering over our Twitter accounts. How many times did you reload Twitter? The NFL will not stop until we all have HD screens stapled to our foreheads.
We set aside time for this. We tuned in, told our families to find somewhere to be and maybe even left work early. We spent an hour with our hands rubbed together. All that, and as it turns out Tony Gonzalez decided not to retire and Mike Wallace signs with the Dolphins?! How anticlimactic. Gosder Cherilus went to the Colts, which was widely RT’d by the staff here at the Ticket, proving how just how boring this afternoon turned out. Lions fans forgot Cherilus’ name soon after the season ended.
It’s not all bad news. Antoine Winfield was released, along with Nnamdi Asomugha and DeAngelo Hall. Suddenly a buyer’s market for veteran CBs; a position the Lions need like Dwight Howard needs attention. Literally every corner on the market would be an upgrade over the Lions roster. If the Lions can shuffle the cap around and pick up one of them, they could come at Roll Back prices.
Of course, FA signing season usually starts with a bang and then a wave of enthusiasm. The Dolphins got better, I guess, they picked up Wallace and stole Darnell Ellerbe. Good moves but nothing like what we’ve seen in years past. The last team to do play the FA song were the Eagles, and maybe the memory of their result scares teams off of acting irresponsibly.
Call me crazy but I miss the old days. It was bracing to see Daniel Snyder betting the house on one guy. Those teams were always aged and fell apart in the playoffs, but it made for a fun day in March when kick off was still months away.
Football figured it out. They have us gripped by the eyes all year and we will never turn away. We spent a sunny afternoon in front of the tube watching large men in suits describe business deals. Some of us wore jerseys.
In the end there was no news, Reggie Bush is coming to visit and hopefully he has to wait in line at Slow’s. Maybe Mendenhall signs with Arizona while they wait for a Yardbird. Maybe then we will get the avalanche of information that we so crave.
Until then maybe, maybe this can serve as a reminder. There are plenty of ways we can collect this information without parking in front of the TV and watching it with the kind of strict attention usually associated with spinal surgery. We can keep an eye on Twitter without staring at Retina displays. Maybe we can skip the jerseys and potato skins every time the NFL rings the dinner bell.
Quick reminder: Don’t forget the keg deposit for your Draft party on April 25th.