Five Types Of University Of Michigan Fans: Walmart Included

By: Mike Valenti

The Michigan Man – Went to school there, loves his alma mater and wants EVERYONE to know they attended. This man wears khaki in all four seasons, thinks David Brandon invented the Internet and Tom Harmon cured caner.

New Blue – This fan is adept at social media and Facebook fights. Hashtags are as essential for their daily lives as taking steps and breathing. New Blue must tell EVERYONE how great Michigan is all of the time all, while not realizing the real world exists outside of Ann Arbor.

The Walmarter – Didn’t go to school there; in fact, he possibly didn’t graduate high school. With the zeal of the converted, his entire existence is tied to UM sports. Fanaticism is of the highest order. He likely lives in the Canton to Woodhaven corridor.

The Fencerider – He loves both in-state schools, but somehow only owns UM clothing. Patronizing everyone around him like he is impartial, the fenceriders’ passion burns within. In other words, he’s a complete phony.

The ‘We Just Ran Out Of Time’ Fan – You know this guy, he’s the kid who always suddenly developed an injury when the other team scored. “If only my knee held up, I would have shown them all!!” In other words, every time the team loses, it’s not their fault. Whether its the crown on the field or the paint on the walls, Michigan has never lost just simply ran out of time.

More from g) Mike Valenti
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