MSU Student Creates Hilarious Dating 'Resume,' Citing Small Talk, Crying During 'Marley & Me'

By Christy Strawser
(CBS Detroit) If a sense of humor landed the hot girl, this Michigan State University student would be dating Kate Upton.

In truth, he didn't get the girl. But he does have a great story to tell.

Joe Adams, a junior at MSU, responded to an ad in an MSU Facebook group last Wednesday from a girl looking for a date for her friend. She's not weird, the ad says, she just lives in the library and needed a guy to take her to a formal.

When Adams responded, the friend asked for his dating resume. For real. Adams said he'd been "waiting for this moment."

"A lot of people think I just wrote this so I could start picking up chicks but that's not the case at all," he told CBS Detroit, adding that he wrote the resume as a joke after a girl rejected him previously. Using an online template, he whipped this up in a few hours and never got to show it to her. Then it sat unused.

And so when it came up again, he unleashed his magnum opus summary of qualifications, delving into the details of what makes him a great catch. He titled it with his name and the description "lover of breakfast foods and puppies."

He wrote that his work experience was as a "lubricants consultant (not a euphemism) , and ranked his skills in rollerblading, crying during Marley &Me, acting like a dad in public and replying to long texts.

Under the "moderately interesting" section he listed his skills at chatting up parents with small talk, the fact he "drives in style" in a  2009 Honda Civic, and has no Tinder account because he "doesn't objectify women for the sake of getting ass."

He created a circle graph rating how he spends his time, with allocations for Facetiming his mom and running his dog's Instagram page.

His resume went viral.

"I checked my phone and I had like 50 notifications that people had followed me on Instagram (in 40 minutes) ... and from there, it's been gangbusters," he said, adding he's getting "endless Facebook requests."

Adams didn't get the date, but judging from the response he's gotten, he won't be alone for long. He's been written up on Buzzfeed and Cosmopolitan Magazine, appeared on Good Morning America, and revealed on Twitter he's gotten calls from the Steve Harvey Show and Ellen.

Adams wrote on Twitter, "If this is peaking, then I'm 107 percent OK with it."

He plans to intern in San Francisco for Shell Oil Company this summer, to continue his pursuit of chemical engineering. As for the ladies, he's still unattached and has no prospects on the horizon.

"There have been a lot of people asking me to dates and formals, but there hasn't been anything close or logistically possible," he said. "In reality the majority of it has been 14-year-old girls telling me I'm their soul mate. I'm staying away from that... The right girl will come along, I believe that."