Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving Pie

Thanksgiving week! We hope you’re all enjoying a week of calm, measured discussions with your family, a nostalgic visit to your depressing hometown, and a good, long conversation with the guy from high school who still works at the Stop ‘n Shop.

When you’re not enjoying that, surely you’re taking part in all of the wonderful traditions of Thanksgiving, like turkey, stuffing, and every last drop of alcohol in your house. But of these, there are two that stand out from the pack – football, and pie. Which of these traditions takes a top spot in our hearts? Let’s go to the tape.

(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images) (credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

NFL Football

Thanksgiving Pie

…pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.	Taste	Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!
Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.	Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?	Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!
It takes mere nanoseconds.	How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?	Instantaneously.
Yep!...hypothetically.	Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?	If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.
nnnnNNNNOPE!	Causes Instant Shame and Regret?	Every time.

…pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.

Taste

Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!

Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.

Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?

Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!

It takes mere nanoseconds.

How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?

Instantaneously.

Yep!...hypothetically.

Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?

If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.

nnnnNNNNOPE!

Causes Instant Shame and Regret?

Every time.

The winner is

NFL Football

4 out of 5

There you have it. With a score of 4-2, football remains the Thanksgiving champion we all deserve.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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