Trash night is typically uneventful at our house. I mean, how hard is it? You gather the trash from all the rooms and put the bags at the curb, right? Little did I know, trash night is also known as banquet night in the raccoon world.
It started out like any other weekly trash gathering. I’ll admit, it’s a job on my husband’s honey-do list. He just didn’t have a clue that tonight he would meet the enemy.READ MORE: Michigan Man Linked To Supremacist Group Gets 56 Months To 20 Years
It was still daylight when he put the bags out; that was probably the first mistake. We didn’t think anything of it until my guy looked out the window and said, “Hey, there’s a raccoon out there approaching the bags!” Sure enough, a healthy, well-fed looking raccoon (for the sake of this blog, I will call him Bob) stepped out from the wetlands surrounding our house and tentatively sniffed the air. Since raccoons are usually nocturnal, I guess our garbage was worth him stepping out into the sunshine.
Summoning up his former military strategy, hubby stealthily crossed the driveway, jumping up, waving his hands yelling, “Get out of here!” Bob backed up, retreating into the bushes. “See,”my husband said, “That’s the way you take care of that!”
Uh huh. I wasn’t surprised less than an hour later, when we looked at what was our perfectly arranged contribution to a landfill, Bob was redesigning the landscape. One of the bags was tipped over and Bob was about to pounce!
This time, when my husband ran out yelling at Bob, Bob only backed up a little. We could see him at the tree line, watching.
“Can you believe this? I’ll fix him!” So started a battle that had my husband first placing the garbage bags in a container. Bob responded by climbing on top and trying to remove the lid!READ MORE: General Motors Reinstates Dividend Suspended In Pandemic
It was dark when my husband made his final move. He told me, “Stay in the garage, just in case he bites!” “Don’t go out there!” I pleaded. By this time, Bob seemed a little too clever, plus, it was time to go to bed.
Still, he couldn’t resist placing a heavy box on top of the trash container. When we looked outside a few minutes later, a frustrated Bob had only managed to move it a little.
Round 1: HUSBAND
But I know Bob is just around the corner. Our neighbor’s bag of trash was spread all over the street!
Stay tuned for Round 2!MORE NEWS: Detroit's Historic Marlborough Apartments To Reopen For First Time In 40 Years