Are These The Same Old Lions? Jamie And Wojo Can Give You An Official Answer
Every NFL team loses.
Some lose more than others -- some lose early, some lose late -- but other than the 1972 Dolphins, every team loses.
The Lions have turned it into an art. The losing has been so painful for so long that most fans will tell you their age and how long they've watched the team before they start rehashing the latest defeat. It's almost like they're veterans of battle, which in a way, they are.
But the problem with the Lions is that every single time they lose a game, most fans lapse into the chorus of "Same Old Lions" or for the purposes of this post – S.O.L. This is perfectly understandable, but also perfectly unfair.
The Lions are allowed to lose a game without them automatically falling into the S.O.L. trap. Sometimes your opponent is better, sometimes a key player is hurt and sometimes you just lose. Fans shouldn't automatically declare that these are once again the Same Old Lions.
In order to delineate between a loss and an official Same Old Lions loss, Wojo and I brought the listeners into the fold on Tuesday night and put together the official criteria for an S.O.L. loss.
We've decided that if three of the following five criteria are met, the game can officially be termed an S.O.L. game. But if two or fewer are met, it's just a garden-variety loss. These are the rules; they must be followed -- feel free to print them out and laminate them if you need them as a point of reference following an especially frustrating Sunday.
1) An opposing offensive player who is either a journeyman (see – Orton, Kyle) or an unknown (see – Pittman, Michael) has a well above average game that nobody could have foreseen.
2) The Lions are at home and are favored in betting lines by a touchdown or more.
3) The Lions blow a double-digit lead and/or blow a fourth quarter lead.
4) The Lions commit a game-altering penalty and/or turnover in the fourth quarter.
5) Something happens in the game that can best be described as a "Black Swan" event.
The "Black Swan" event is something that was pointed out by one of our texters. It's defined as something that happens that comes as a complete surprise and has a major effect. Or in Lions speak; it can be characterized by just some of the following examples.
- Calvin Johnson's "Process" play in Chicago.
- Marty Mornhinweg taking the wind in overtime against the Bears.
- Alex Henery missing not one, not two but three field goals against the Bills.
- The Ravens' Justin Tucker nailing a 61-yard field goal to beat the Lions on Monday Night Football.
- David Williams returning the opening kickoff of overtime for a touchdown to give the Bears the win on Thanksgiving Day in 1980.
- Bobby Ross inexplicably going for two in Arizona.
- Jim Schwartz inexplicably throwing a red flag to challenge Justin Forsett's touchdown on Thanksgiving Day in 2012.
- Dan Orlovsky running out of the end zone in Minnesota.
Do you want me to go on? Of course you don't. See, it's really a very simple formula.
So far this season the Lions are 3-2. But you're probably asking yourself just how many of those two losses are S.O.L. losses. Well, let's consult the criteria.
The Carolina game really only meets Rule 4, as Matthew Stafford threw a crippling interception that bounced off Johnson's hands. But the Panthers did not have an overwhelming offensive day by a journeyman or a no-namer. The Lions led by just one point, but that was in the third quarter. They weren't home favorites. And there were no "Black Swan" events.
As for the Bills game, that's almost a clean sweep. Orton led the way for the win – Rule 1. The Lions were favored by 7 or 7 ½ points – Rule 2. They led by double-digits and in the fourth quarter – Rule 3. Stafford did throw a damaging pick, but it was in the second quarter and therefore doesn't qualify for Rule 4. And as we mentioned, the Henery oh-for was clearly a "Black Swan" event.
So when you're watching the game on Sunday and debating with your friends the state of your favorite team, you don't have to worry anymore if you're watching the Same Old Lions. We figured it all out for you.
You're welcome.
