By: Evan Jankens

Baby, it’s cold outside, and sometimes a man just needs to spend time in a nice, warm place surrounded by new friends.

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That’s what I’m assuming happened here anyway, when a homeless man, later identified as Bryan Joseph Kryscio, reportedly stole an ambulance to get desperately to his destination.

He had a fever and the only thing that would put it out was a visit to the strip club. Police describe him as having “some mental health issues.”

This happened at about 11 p.m  Sunday, when deputies learned of the theft after the ambulance was stolen from a hospital, according to reports.

It’s hard to stay undercover in a white and red ambulance, so the man was stopped in Sterling Heights and asked why he stole the ambulance. According to the Oakland Press, “Apparently he said there was no public transportation available,” Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard said.

“He told the deputy he was hoping to go to the Booby Trap to see some pole dancing,” Bouchard added.

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Bouchard’s quote: “You can’t make this up,” really says it all.

Kryscio has a prior criminal history in Florida for robbery and in Michigan for breaking and entering, possession of marijuana and several convictions for trespassing, police said.

Kryscio was arraigned Tuesday in 50th District Court in Pontiac on a charge of UDAA (Unlawfully Driving Away of an Automobile)and received a $5,000 cash or surety bond with a condition of GPS tether prior to release.

A preliminary exam date was scheduled at 1:30 p.m. Dec. 9 in front of Judge Preston Thomas at 50th District Court.


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