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It was a great day for shoeheads and University of Michigan fans when it was announced that the Michigan Wolverines football program would be the first to adopt Micheal Jordan’s Jumpman brand.

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It also made many fans of Michigan State — and Jordan himself — very queasy. If you are a fan of both, then you might have literally thrown up when you saw this video…

 

It made me think though what would be the three things that would make the Detroit sports fans violently ill if they ever happened.

3. Tom Brady retires and becomes Michigan State’s head football coach

Just the thought of Brady saying “Go Green, Go White” makes me want to hurl. MSU would probably let him do whatever he wants with ball pressure though…

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2 Oct 1999: Tom Brady #10 of the Mishigan Wolverines gets ready to pass the ball during the game against the Purdue Boilermakers at the Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Mishigan. The Wolverrines defeated the Boilermakers 38-12. Mandatory Credit: Harry How /Allsport

2 Oct 1999: Tom Brady #10 of the Mishigan Wolverines gets ready to pass the ball during the game against the Purdue Boilermakers at the Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Mishigan. The Wolverrines defeated the Boilermakers 38-12. Mandatory Credit: Harry How /Allsport

2. Barry Sanders comes out of retirement to play for the Green Bay Packers

Could you imagine what the first game would feel like if Barry had been away from football for a year or two, then lined up on the opposite side of his former team at the Silverdome? I think any fan in a Packers jersey that day would be in massive amounts of trouble. Beer sales would have to end mid-way through the first quarter.

PONTIAC, : Detroit Lions Barry Sanders (R) tries to get around of Green Bay Packers Darren Sharper during the first quarter in Pontiac, MI, 15 October. AFP PHOTO Jeff KOWALSKY (Photo credit should read JEFF KOWALSKY/AFP/Getty Images)

PONTIAC, : Detroit Lions Barry Sanders (R) tries to get around of Green Bay Packers Darren Sharper during the first quarter in Pontiac, MI, 15 October. AFP PHOTO Jeff KOWALSKY (Photo credit should read JEFF KOWALSKY/AFP/Getty Images)

1. Steve Yzerman playing for the Colorado Avalanche 

If this ever happened the world would most likely stop spinning on its axis and Little Caesars would sell sushi instead of pizza.

27 Apr 2000: Goalie Patrick Roy #33 of the Colorado Avalanche makes a save as Steve Yzerman #19 of the Detroit Red Wings drives the puck right to the goal in the first period during Game 1 of the Western Conference Semifinals at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado. Mandatory Credit: Brian Bahr/ALLSPORT

27 Apr 2000: Goalie Patrick Roy #33 of the Colorado Avalanche makes a save as Steve Yzerman #19 of the Detroit Red Wings drives the puck right to the goal in the first period during Game 1 of the Western Conference Semifinals at the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado. Mandatory Credit: Brian Bahr/ALLSPORT

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What would make you the sickest as a Detroit sports fan?