By @GeorgeJFox

You never know what you’re going to find browsing your local Craigslist, but every once in a while the universe sends you a gem like this Custom Mathew Stafford 62 inch Wooden Sculpture.

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It doesn’t get much more unique, but to shell out the coin they’re asking for you’re going to need some convincing.

(used with permission)

(used with permission)

1. Well, it’s certainly a conversation piece. A fantastically awkward conversation. You can make up whatever story you want. Like how you stole if from the Eureka Road Hooters.

2. Scare the bejesus out of your friends by putting it in unexpected locations like their bedroom closet or outside the shower. It’s just the right mix of horrific proportions and creepy middle schooler height.

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3. Use it as an illustration of poor ball security. Holding a football like you’re about to stab it like a Capri Sun is, at best, unorthodox.

4. He can stand in for whatever piece is missing in the neighborhood nativity scene.

5. You could easily transform him into the player of your choice. Change the name, number and slap a Spartan S on the helmet and you’ve got a Connor Cook statue, my man.

6. It’s more PC than a wooden Indian. Unless you own a Cracker Barrel — that kinda thing is frowned upon.

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7. If you burn it, maybe the football gods will notice the mighty sacrifice and give the Lions a playoffs win.