10 Ways Michigan State Could Beat Michigan This Weekend
By Christy Strawser
Twitter: CStrawser1
(CBS Detroit) Breaking news for football fans who've been separated from all forms of media this season: Michigan State University has a terrible football team.
On the other hand, the University of Michigan has a solid team.
Pundits have already decided the outcome for this weekend's game, and it doesn't look good for State fans.
But as metro Detroiters know from their many years of watching unlikely Detroit Lions outcomes, anything is possible.
Here's what it would take for State to beat Michigan this year.
- Bus trouble. Let's face it, they don't teach auto mechanics at Michigan and this is Ann Arbor, so the probability is high that no one knows how to, say, change a tire. Michigan just can't make it there. State wins.
- Scary clowns terrorize Michigan team sleepover.
- Harbaugh hurts himself in a khaki-related trip and fall -- those things are so baggy they're basically a hazard, and not only to the eyes. He has to sit out the game. If the king of football isn't there, the team might just wander around in a daze.
- Legionnaire's breaks out in the Michigan locker room. East Lansing isn't the cleanest place, we'll leave it at that.
- State wins the coin toss, thinks game is over, leaves the field and claims victory.
- Jabrill Peppers becomes overcome by giggles when he sees the halftime score, pulls a muscle, has to be carried off the field. Team is disoriented without the best linebacker/returner/quarterback/running back/safety/wide receiver in recorded history, and decides to forfeit. State wins.
- Michigan State picked the Raiders in "Tecmo Bowl." There was just no way to lose.
- Michigan pre-games at Chipotle.
- God smites all Wolverines for worshiping a false idol.
- Wilton Speight throws more than one interception and the Spartans turn those turnovers into touchdowns. No, that could really happen. Stop laughing.
