Tigers

Justin Verlander Isn’t Good Anymore And Other Random Thoughts

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HOUSTON - MAY 04:  Justin Verlander #35 of the Detroit Tigers looks on from the dugout against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park on May 4, 2013 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

HOUSTON – MAY 04: Justin Verlander #35 of the Detroit Tigers looks on from the dugout against the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park on May 4, 2013 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)

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Justin Verlander had one of his worst starts for the Tigers in game one of a series against the Rangers. This was right after an unwatchable start against Cleveland. He hasn’t had many good starts this year except against the Astros and that doesn’t count.

For some people, this means Justin Verlander isn’t good anymore. They say this because good pitchers never have bad games. This is sarcasm.

The fans who say Justin Verlander isn’t good anymore might have short attention spans. That’s a condition that people now call ADHD. There’s medication available if you think you might be a victim of ADHD. Talk to your doctor. Justin Verlander is fine and having a bad year so far. It happens.

Also: It’s not Kate Upton’s fault. Nothing is ever her fault. Look at her. How could anything, ever, be her fault? Stop blaming Kate Upton.

Life can fall apart fast. One almost has to stand back in awe at the collapse of Titus Young. Every time you think that he’s hit his peak, gone the full Darryl Strawberry, he somehow manages to take it up another notch.

Titus Young’s former ex-girlfriend filed a restraining order against him, because he allegedly told her “I understand why OJ killed his wife.” This is after getting arrested twice in one day two weeks ago, and a week later he tried to start a fight with the police while in some stranger’s house.

Here’s a tip for everyone: It’s never okay to agree with OJ Simpson on anything, regardless of the subject. If OJ stops at an intersection, run the light. If a cop pulls you over, explain that you’re doing the opposite of OJ Simpson and they will agree with you.

The Preakness is this weekend and I couldn’t possibly care less. I don’t gamble so horse racing is more boring than watching Tony Dungy talk. If I wanted to watch chemically enhanced mammals go fast, I’d watch the Tour de France.

Former Ohio State running back – and noted drug and gun enthusiast – Maurice Clarett has decided to try Rugby. He’ll play for the Tiger Ruby’s Columbus affiliate. The first time I’d ever heard of a minor league system for Rugby was three seconds before I typed that sentence.

Clarett hopes to play for the US Olympic Rugby team. If he declares early for the Olympics, we’ll know it’s a sign of trouble.

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